Difficult Life Events 

It’s an unfortunate truism that life has a tendency to provide experiences that are altogether unpleasant. These difficult life events are usually life changing from both a negative and/or positive perspective. Challenging events shape our lives, mould us into who we are, create our beliefs, structure our personality and create the lens in how we view the world.

It’s not an easy topic to broach because it’s natural for us to want to avoid the consequences of difficult life events. We push them into the background, hide them in our various closets, so the light of day doesn’t shine our awareness on what’s lurking in our past. This is a completely natural thing to do, to suppress hurt, pain, shame, fear, rage, sadness, because at the time we may not have had the skills or the opportunity to react appropriately when the difficult event occurred.

For some people the belief out of sight out of mind is the end of it and one simply moves on. Maybe for some this is the case, but at Counselling and Psychotherapy we don’t fully believe this because if past events come into the category of ‘unfinished business’ then the past does haunt us in ways we may not realise. Echo’s from the past can manifest as mental health difficulties, such as anxiety and depression or physical symptoms like migraines or digestive issues or personality constraints, for example, self-esteem or inhibition.

What Can Be Done! 

At Counselling and Psychotherapy we believe that difficult life events don’t have to hold us in their grip thus limiting our potential to be fully ourselves or become the person we envisage. The good news from our perspective is that what is locked in our bodies and minds can be released freeing the life force that’s sealed in maintaining various kinds of symptomology. 

How is this achieved? Increasing research is demonstrating the role of the nervous system in connection to bound up energy associated with the ‘unfinished business’ of difficult life events. This locked energy is particularly allied to the sympathetic and part of the parasympathetic nervous system creating the symptoms described above. By gently working with the nervous system through a facilitated process that allows the release of blocked energy ameliorating the manifestations of physical and mental health problems. The release of an overloaded nervous system allows for a corrective adjustment to bring back healthy homeostatic functioning.     

If you have experienced difficult life situations and would like counselling support then please contact one of our therapists.

May this day find you well.
Counselling and Psychotherapy Team

Work Ethic verses Ability

Recent studies are showing where motivation is used to promote effort, as opposed to acknowledging someone’s ability or talent, effects learning outcomes. Studies done by Michigan University where students who were praised for their talents compared to students who were praised because they worked hard seemed to have direct impact on learning outcomes. It appears that students who were praised for innate ability would then attempt easier tasks compared to those students who were praised for their work effort would attempt tasks that were more difficult resulting in improved outcomes.

It seems that complementing about someone’s talent supports beliefs that the brain has a fixed potential, whereas favouring positive feedback about effort or hard work supports the idea the brain has growth potential. Giving student’s messages that reinforce hard work improve learning outcomes and increases desire to strive.

In similar studies done by Carol Dweck students who are motivated via effort were more inclined to look at the test results of higher performing students, seemingly to gain more insight. However, students who were told they were clever tended to compare their results with student’s who got lower scores, probably to maintain their self-esteem. The irony is telling someone they are smart reduces learning capacity. 

Making Mistakes, Not Such a Bad Thing!    

Studies appear to be proving that we can learn from our mistakes, but it depends on the reaction to the mistake. Those people who were paying attention to their mistakes are able to learn from it. In comparison, those who ignore their mistakes are more likely to repeat it. Again, research is showing that belief systems associated with those who hold the concept that the brain is fixed compared to those who see the potentiality of the brain’s capacity to grow have correlations to outcomes produced by mistakes. People who have a fixed mindset tend to see mistakes as failures, whereas individuals with the growth mindset view mistakes as learning opportunities or part of the learning process.

May this day find toy well.
Counselling and Psychotherapy